I've been twiddling my thumbs today. I'm so much better that I'm beginning to need more. I need my friends, I need to do things, I need to work, I need to be active.
There are so many needs that I don't seem able to fulfil at the moment! My friends work during the day, as does my partner. I can't continually bug them to spend time with me because they need a work-life balance. They have housework to do and sleep to catch up on.
The working is getting there but the wait to be approved for my volunteering is getting tedious. I feel like now that I've applied I'm itching to start. I'd get going tomorrow if I could. I desperately need it to get some excitement, structure and interest in to my day.
Doing things? A lot of this seems, to me, to be money orientated. I can't spend my life going bowling, ice skating, to the cinema, eating out, etc because I no longer have a job or an income. I can't stand shopping at the best of times so really don't fancy window shopping.
Since January I've spent a lot of time and money sorting the house out. This will have to stop now that I no longer have an income. So until this volunteering comes through I just feel like I'm wasting my days; there's only so many times you can read the news online in the space of twenty four hours!
I might be tempted tomorrow to have another go at starting the exercise programme. I started the C25K in September but stopped due to a strain in my hamstring. I could dedicate some time to this. That will be both productive and fulfilling....I hope!
So this aimless chatter that I'm doing has now given me a next step! Tomorrow I WILL go for a run!
It's like a problem solving monologue. The more I type, the more likely I am to come up with a solution or a next step. Maybe this blog truly is helping me progress! The fight is still ongoing and I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!
sr x
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