Is there really an answer?

I was browsing through the news websites this morning when I came across this article.

Do you REALLY need antidepressants?

It was quite interesting but unfortunately brief.  Scientists have been analysing brain activity of people who are suffering from depression to determine whether medication or CBT is going to help.

I had a conversation with my doctor the other day asking him about other alternatives to taking medication.  He assured me that if there were anything that was more effective than taking antidepressants then he'd prescribe that.

They say that keeping active, taking exercise, etc helps to heal the mind. Surely on that basis I could get away with not taking my medication?

I'm lucky enough to be able to afford to stay off work. I don't have a job. I have the freedom to do what I need to do to support my recovery.  Why should medication be used to mask any negative feelings people have about their lives? I personally really like my life, I have nothing to hide from and don't want to change anything. I only want to start working towards getting better by volunteering and eventually going back to work.

I'm seeing the doctor on Tuesday and I'm going to have a serious conversation with him about coming off the medication. Who knows....he may just agree. More likely though he'll tell me that it's important to stay on the medication. I do trust my doctor. He's guided me through this whole illness.  Does he necessarily know best over all of the other experts discussing different theories?

My guess is no one truly knows what the most effective solution is.  This modern illness is not good, not healthy. No one really knows what causes it and how to cure it. We can only take a stab in the dark.

sr
x

The joy of pets

I've been thinking about this for a little while. I was signed off work early December and on 30th December we took a drive to a farm to choose a puppy.

I spent the previous day trawling the internet for adverts for puppies for sale. I duly booked 5 appointments to look at a range of golden, chocolate and black labrador puppies. Having done that in the morning, I took one more quick look in the afternoon and up popped a little of collie x shepherd puppies. I rang and booked an appointment there and then.

Travelling to the first place, I knew that we wouldn't be taking a puppy home that day and that there were lots of things to consider before taking on such a huge responsibility. We had previously discussed getting a puppy and knew we would eventually, it was just a the question about whether the timing was right that we had to settle.

The first place we visited was a working farm. Each time the farmer needed a new working dog he bred a litter and kept the last puppy to stay on the farm.  I fell in love with them straight away. The choice was simple. One dog, after playing and fussing, sat by us and just wouldn't move. We had to take him there and then. We met the mum and dad, aunties, uncles, nan etc. His whole family was on the farm!

Anyway, let's fast forward a little. We were blessed with the most adorable looking puppy.

 



I can't quite decide how much he has helped or hindered my recovery. Each day it was just me and him. At times it was massively overwhelming. He needed to be supervised constantly and house trained.  There were days when I was in floods of tears because I just didn't think he'd be housetrained or yet again he'd pulled the curtains, bitten the sofa, upset the birds and jumped up at the fish tank.

Slowly but surely we've worked through the initial stages of training a puppy. I am now doubly blessed with a caring, loyal, (mostly) obedient and beautiful 7 month old puppy. He seems to have this uncanny understanding of my illness. He knows when I'm having a bad day and will either leave me be or give me lots of cuddles. He gets me out and about. There is some sort of secret club of dog owners. When you have a dog so many people talk to you!

I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be at this stage of my recovery if it wasn't for him. I'm always being told that exercise helps. I definately get that. He has given me focus, motivation to get up at 7 each morning and a reason to carry on.

The times that he's reduced me to tears seem to pale in significance now. I know he was awful at times. My illness made coping so much more difficult.

But here we are. I have no regrets. He's pushed me forward and for that I am eternally grateful. I will treasure him and give him the best life I possibly can. The bond we have is immense. Right now he is sat at my feet; he is my shadow. In time, he will replace the black, lurking shadow that is my depression.

sr x