Destructive behaviours

I need to give myself a target. I need to feel myself moving forward. This target will be beneficial for my health.

Destructive behaviours are exactly as labelled - destructive.

I know for certain that I partake in a number of habits which are not good for me, some maybe even bad for my health.  It is this behaviour that I'd like to begin to shed.  It will make me healthier and happier and definitely solve a few problems!

As a child, I used to pull my hair. I'd tie it in knots and when it was so tangled I'd pull the knots out. I'd either pull them until the chunk of hair came out from the scalp or I'd snap the hair just above the knot.  My hair is still thin on the left hand side from this habit that persisted throughout my early years.

Next, I always used to chew the inside of my mouth. Gross. When it healed I'd end up with ulcers. Ouch! This habit did go away after a while. I'm not sure when.  Maybe when I was about 13. It does, however, keep reoccurring. It's a habit that has regularly plagued me throughout my childhood and adult life.  This is particularly bad at the moment.

Another, alcohol.  My alcohol intake, recently, has risen to alarming proportions. Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little. My intake has gone from roughly two glasses of wine a week to about 8 glasses of wine a week, maybe slightly more. Certainly not a good habit to be in.

The habit which I find the hardest to deal with is my habit of scratching my skin. I scratch spots, scabs, dry patches of skin, etc. Pretty much any imperfection on my skin I will try to scratch off.  This leads to scabs, small scars and poor colouring on my skin.  I do try to stop.  I've managed to stop scratching my face which was a major cause of concern for me.

I just need to wonder whether this destructive behaviour coincides with depression or it's just a range of annoying habits that I have. I'm hoping that as my depression lifts, these behaviours will begin to ease. I'm hoping that through a great deal of grit and determination I can finally rid myself of these things. Clear skin, thick hair, no ulcers! Imagine that!

I will work extraordinarily hard on that for a week or so and will let you know the results! By writing this down I am now accountable for my actions.  Let's hope it'll spur me on towards success.

Wish me luck,

sr x